Days 1 & 2

The first day is always the hardest and to be honest, I was expecting it to be much harder! I started the day by waking up at 3am in a panic. What did I get myself into???!!! But then I fell back to sleep and woke up again in a better frame of mind. 3am is not really the best time for rational thinking anyway, right? So, I knew that the shakes would taste bad, and that I had to suffer through one every 3 hours. So I made a plan. 6am, 9am, noon, 3pm and 6pm. I got to work, mixed my first shake (chocolate), and as it turns out, it's not so bad. I actually kind of like it. Not in the same way I like french fries, but I was pretty tasty. Later in the day I tried the vanilla and orange flavors, unfortunately they were not as tasty. I can drink them but I will probably order only chocolate from now on.
So far the only time that is really hard is at night. C hasn't started yet, so he's been going out to eat dinner. I appreciate it, but I hate him at the same time. Just kidding, but it's hard to know that he's eating and that I'm left at home to fight temptation. I don't hold it against him. He's being really nice about it. He keeps coming up with other reasons why he's going out so that he doesn't have to say that he's getting dinner.
The biggest motivator I had was the fact that I felt better. I was weak and a little light headed, but besides that I felt better than I had in a long time. No stomach aches, not bloated blah feelings, it was a huge difference.
Day 2 was even easier than day 1. Night was still the hardest, but I fought through the desire to eat (it really is a desire more than anything. I don't have any cravings, and when I have my shakes, I not hungry.), and I feel really good for having done so. I have never really stuck to a diet before. I have started diets, but I always "cheat". This time I am determined not to, and I am proud of myself for sticking to it so far. The first few days are the hardest, so if I can do it now, then I can keep it up.
The thing that I have notices most is what hunger really feels like. Someone in class last week said that he stopped thinking of hunger as "pain". I have really taken that to heart, and it is motivating. When I feel hungry and my stomach growls, I remind myself that it doesn't hurt, it's uncomfortable, but not painful. I have also noticed that hunger is not always necessarily hunger. Many times in the last couple days I have felt hungry, my stomach might make a complaint or two, and I have a few sips of water and it goes away. This morning (day 3) I had a breath mint and I was fine without a shake until 8am, which since I get up at 5 is a pretty good stretch. I am learning that just because I feel physically hungry, it doesn't mean that I need to eat a ton of food to feel better.
My counselor told us to expect to feel a bunch of feelings that we have been repressing with food. So far I have had none of that. I miss food, but as far as bad thought that make me want to eat, I can't say that I have had any. I mentioned before that I suspect that I don't eat to suppress feelings, and I am feel like my theory is being validated.
Overall, the shakes aren't bad, the cravings aren't too bad, and it's a lot easier than I thought. I know that we aren't supposed to be looking at the scale, but I did get on the one at home last night...I didn't weigh myself on it prior to starting, so I'm sure it's not the same as the one at the clinic, but assuming that it's close, I have lost 8 pounds so far! How's that for motivation!!!